Ellen Anmuth, Licensed Psychotherapist and Genetic Counselor, presents a thoughtful glimpse of how small moments of generosity and kindness can create a lifetime of positive impact.
Can you think of someone in your life…childhood or adulthood, who by doing something kind in the realm of “ordinary”, impacted your life in a big way? Or, could YOU be that ordinary person who did a simple act of kindness and left an extraordinary impact on another person’s life?
Here is a true story from my childhood. It is about an experience that at the time I knew was fun and special, and yet not until recently did I reflect on the amazing impact that experience had on my life.
First, a bit about the setting: I grew up on a small island community….a 50 minute train ride from Manhattan, NY. We were blessed to have a large backyard where my brother’s friends had an imaginary baseball field to enjoy playing games on. The long backyard was waterfront property which ended at our dock on a wide channel of water leading to the Atlantic Ocean. July 4th was a special day, when all the kids on the block gathered to watch the panorama of fireworks from our dock on the water.
Beautiful sunsets were an event in my home, announced by my mother, who would joyfully say, “Look at the Sunset!”. We would run to the backyard, where the setting sun splashed colors from the sky to the bay. The word I used was “wonderful”…yes, we were in wonder of the experience of the sunsets, watching over a period of 30 minutes or so, while the colors of the world changed and morphed, like a spiritual painter was using a canvas of nature. Orange, pink, red, blue, and all shades in between spanned from the sky in layers and reflected onto the water. The sun often poured a glittering path on light on the bay from the horizon line to our dock. It was breathtaking and different every night for many years, as there are no two snowflakes that are alike either.
That sunset over the bay was a miracle of nature for me. There were other miracles as I grew up, but they were miracles of kindness from people. One such person was Frank the Milkman. It was a time in the early 1960’s when a bottle of milk delivered to your front door in a glass container was 18 cents. It was a time of innocence in New York in which children did not get abducted and children walked a mile to school alone without fear. Yes, it was like living a Norman Rockwell painting in a Long Island neighborhood.
I must have been in 2nd grade, and my older brother was in 4th grade. Once a week, my favorite morning before I went on that mile walk to school, my brother and I would hop into Frank the Milkman’s truck, and become his helpers for the milk delivery for the 10 houses down the block. Now, I said “hop” into his truck, but for me it was a big climb up gigantic steps, pulling myself upward to have a perfect view in what felt like an amusement ride down the block.
My strong older brother was able to carry the iron container of six full glass bottles of milk to the house doorstep (way too heavy for me), and I only had the strength to carry the 6 empty bottles back to the truck. With great joy, I savored every moment of this ritual down the block, while I remember the quiet kindness of Frank the Milkman, always gentle, always approving, and I now assume, always grateful for our company. Most of all, I know the special experience he gave to me and my brother. We had fun, felt loved, appreciated and felt empowered. We knew we did a job well done, and also had an amusement park type ride in this super-duper, open to the world milk truck– a perfect combination!
I am sure Frank is no longer alive, as he was a grandfatherly age when I was in 2nd grade. I doubt he ever realized the sweet impact he had on my life…the way I looked forward to this special treat of delivering milk every week. My brother and I would joyfully walk or skip home at the end of the block, while Frank continued delivering milk to the other homes on his route. I would get ready for the walk to school, and start the day with happiness in my heart. Thanks, Frank, wherever you are, for the gift you gave to me as a small child.
For the readers of this blog, I wonder if you could ever imagine the way a small act of kindness you might do could leave an imprint of joy in another person, that they remember all their lives. Yes, think of this when you live your life, feeling only ordinary. You always have the chance to do a simple act of kindness and be extraordinary in the heart and mind of another person.
This article is copyright © 2024 Ellen Anmuth, MS, MSW, LCSW