David Brooks on The Resume and the Eulogy

I was watching Charlie Rose on TV the other night, and was enthralled by the conversation between Charlie Rose and his guest, David Brooks, writer for the NY Times. A segment of David Brooks’ TED Talk was shown, where he discussed the human drive toward behavior that fulfills “the resume”, versus the drive toward more humanistic and philanthropic activities which may tend to lead to an impressive eulogy. The following transcript comes from his talk. I am including it in this blog, as inspiration for the readers to watch the full TED
Talk, and to embark on a journey of self examination. Are you living your life that will lead to a resume of accomplishments, or are you living a life that leads to a eulogy of humanistic contribution? Enjoy the excerpt below by David Brooks:

“So I’ve been thinking about the difference between the résumé virtues and the eulogy virtues. The résumé virtues are the ones you put on your résumé, which are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that get mentioned in the eulogy, which are deeper: who are you, in your depth, what is the nature of your relationships, are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency? And most of us, including me, would say that the eulogy virtues are the more important of the virtues. But at least in my case, are they the ones that I think about the most? And the answer is no.

So I’ve been thinking about that problem, and a thinker who has helped me think about it is a guy named Joseph Soloveitchik, who was a rabbi who wrote a book called “The Lonely Man Of Faith” in 1965. Soloveitchik said there are two sides of our natures, which he called Adam I and Adam II. Adam I is the worldly, ambitious, external side of our nature. He wants to build, create, create companies, create innovation. Adam II is the humble side of our nature. Adam II wants not only to do good but to be good, to live in a way internally that honors God, creation and our possibilities. Adam I wants to conquer the world. Adam II wants to hear a calling and obey the world. Adam I savors accomplishment. Adam II savors inner consistency and strength. Adam I asks how things work. Adam II asks why we’re here. Adam I’s motto is “success.” Adam II’s motto is “love, redemption and return.”
(David Brooks continues…)
“And Soloveitchik argued that these two sides of our nature are at war with each other. We live in perpetual self-confrontation between the external success and the internal value. And the tricky thing, I’d say, about these two sides of our nature is they work by different logics. The external logic is an economic logic: input leads to output, risk leads to reward. The internal side of our nature is a moral logic and often an inverse logic. You have to give to receive. You have to surrender to something outside yourself to gain strength within yourself. You have to conquer the desire to get what you want. In order to fulfill yourself, you have to forget yourself. In order to find yourself, you have to lose yourself.”

NOTE: See TED TALK for complete transcript.
Ellen Anmuth, Licensed Psychotherapist

Simon and Garfunkel: Lyrics as Poetry and Inspiration

Ellen Anmuth, Genetic Counselor and Licensed Psychotherapist, loves music and poetry. Ellen Anmuth has the  intention in this article to uplift and inspire my readers.

As a Licensed Psychotherapist, Genetic Counselor and Founder/Creator of  “The Language Of Solutions” Self Improvement and Wellness Programs, I have worked with many people since 1975.  Happiness is often related to self esteem. With the TV and Internet, comparison to celebrity is commonplace. Most of us are non-celebrities in the broad public eye,  but “ordinary” people do amazing acts of excellence in everyday life. My hope and wish is that all people strive to greatness within their scope of influence, and feel good about themselves as a result.

The purpose of this blog, “EllenAnmuth.com” is to highlight the life and contributions of everyday people who  make a difference.  Ultimately, the goal is to inspire readers to embrace their own potential to do acts of generosity, creativity and kindness in an excellent way, and know that every act of simple excellence leaves a lifetime impact.

One such person I will honor today is my 8th grade English teacher, Mr. Gobel. He was about 5’9″, wore mostly a corderoy sports jacket with suede pads at the elbows. He always had a trim full face beard that was light brown, and his energy exuded an air of  Ivy League intellect and humble charm.

I have a BA in Education, and I know that no college program can  teach the secret of creativity that Mr. Gobel could easily express every day. If he worked at being outstanding, nobody could tell. His easygoing relaxed way was occasionally punctuated with verbal passion while teaching literature or poetry. Perhaps he had acting training, because he was amazing to watch. The students were fixed and focused by his quiet charisma and riveting teaching.

It was the mid 60’s, and Simon and Garfunkel had their early album out, with songs like, “Patterns”, “For Emily Where I May Find Her”, “I am a Rock”, and other classics. Mr. Gobel decided to teach literature and poetry using the lyrics from the Simon and Garfunkel popular songs.

As a guitar player and lover of music, the chance to analyze lyrics as if it was poetry was profoundly exciting to me. School took on an energy of excitement and joy. Mr. Gobel was magnetic in his intellectual  brilliance, and a role model of humility and greatness. Yes, seeing Simon and Garfunkel as poetry expanded my awareness of song lyrics for the rest of my life, and provided a depth that I treasure. It was a perfect prelude to the hippie and Anti Viet Nam War movement that would soon be.

If you ever feel bad about yourself  by comparing yourself to others, remember the greatness of Mr. Gobel….a humble intellectual, who made a profound lifetime impact on a class of 8th graders. If you are a teacher, learn to think outside the box and inspire others with intellect, creativity and quiet passion.  For all other readers, be your own best self, as excellent as you can be, and make a difference in the world.

James Taylor’s “The Secret O’ Life”: Inspiration for Peace

Ellen Anmuth, Licensed Psychotherapist and Genetic Counselor, has always been inspired by the music of James Taylor. What wisdom can be found in the James Taylor song, “The Secret O’ Life”?

The first line of lyric reads, “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.” In the early 1970’s I was in High School. My friend John was a musical genius. He could listen to a new James Taylor album one evening, and the next morning bring his guitar to school, and teach me the complicated finger picking techniques of the songs.

I was in awe of John’s musical talents. His generosity and kindness to teach me the guitar techniques of James Taylor is something I cherish, even all these years later.

When I was 17 years old, I would leave my guitar in my locker overnight, and before homeroom,  remove my 6 string acoustic guitar, and sit cross-legged with John on the cold floor in the hallway. In 30 minute time frames, every morning before homeroom, he would teach me many songs, such as   “Fire and Rain”, “Blossom”, “Country Road” and “You’ve Got a Friend”.

Time seemed to stop, as each step of his music lesson was a treasured moment. I knew I was in the company of a 17 year old musical master, who was able to channel the essence of James Taylor.  I cherish the gift that John gave me. I was able to then learn to play the songs of Joni Mitchell, Cat Stevens, Simon and Garfunkel, and Crosby- Stills- Nash and Young,  to name a few.

In 2013, I know that the The Secret O’ Life is Enjoying the Passage of Time. Life can get difficult and  complicated, and it is not always easy to stay positive. During  moments of playing guitar, thinking about the generosity of John, and feeling the vibration of James Taylor’s music, I can transport myself to a place where all is good.

Finding something you love to do and that brings you peace can be the secret of life’s happiness. Dealing with  life’s challenges are easier when you can connect to moments of peace and joy.

WONDERFUL UPDATE… September 3, 2013:  I just found John after 42 years through Facebook, and discovered that he became a professional musician!  My 17 year old guitar genius friend evolved into the gifted musical  talent I hoped he would.  He gave me permission to use his name in this blog, so here goes….John Lionarons, you are amazing! I am so happy for you! Readers….please see his website: www.JohnLionarons.com